Thursday, June 23, 2011

WTH am I doing?

I feel like I'm casting about in a kayak without a paddle these days. I haven't gotten to go out even once. I don't expect to any time soon either. With my husband's work schedule (haha! That implies time off!) and the exhaustion of no real breaks for me either, I just can't get up at 5 to paddle.

I'll be honest. I don't know what the hell I think I'm doing. It's a good thing this race is a few years away, because I don't belong in it.

Why am I posting this? Because this blog isn't supposed to be all about how successful I try to appear. It's about the journey towards a goal. And right now I'm losing ground.

Somehow, this flailing about isn't making me lose heart. It's just a phase, and I'm ignorant enough to still think I have a shot at this.

I'm sorry that I won't get to do my first race this summer, like I'd been hoping, but maybe I can race myself down a section of river somewhere near enough to just be gone for 2 days. I'll take a GPS and see how I fare. We'll see. Not much of a point in doing that when I haven't been training at all.

Any advice?

1 comment:

  1. Relationships are about both parties saying "so here's the deal". Then stuff will work itself out.

    Sounds like this needs to be part of your deal. For real :)

    Just do it! We're rooting for you!
    Chris

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