I feel like I'm casting about in a kayak without a paddle these days. I haven't gotten to go out even once. I don't expect to any time soon either. With my husband's work schedule (haha! That implies time off!) and the exhaustion of no real breaks for me either, I just can't get up at 5 to paddle.
I'll be honest. I don't know what the hell I think I'm doing. It's a good thing this race is a few years away, because I don't belong in it.
Why am I posting this? Because this blog isn't supposed to be all about how successful I try to appear. It's about the journey towards a goal. And right now I'm losing ground.
Somehow, this flailing about isn't making me lose heart. It's just a phase, and I'm ignorant enough to still think I have a shot at this.
I'm sorry that I won't get to do my first race this summer, like I'd been hoping, but maybe I can race myself down a section of river somewhere near enough to just be gone for 2 days. I'll take a GPS and see how I fare. We'll see. Not much of a point in doing that when I haven't been training at all.
Any advice?
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Things in my life I FORGOT to mention
Oh, haha! So, we have a farm for a yard now. And I'm not kidding.
Since March, we have constructed- with our own hands- two bunny barns, I've laid a scavenged flagstone walkway to service them, I've dug out grass and put in 2 raised garden beds, I've filled in mud patches with the dug-out sod, and I'm now building (by myself) a chicken coop! My husband was able to help with the initial bunny barns, but with this new job, he hasn't been available. So I've done the rest of this stuff, with a little help on the initial framing of the coop and chicken run.
We have 4 rabbits we are raising to breed for meat, so I will eventually be caring for up to 20 rabbits at a time. We also now have 6 chickens for eggs. And I have a vegetable garden to tend to, berry bushes, herbs, and 2 cats to keep the rodents away.
All of this is tightly organized on less than a 1/4 acre of city land, with our little ranch-style brick house in the middle.
Plus the two kids, now 2 and 4 years old.
Did I say farm? I meant circus.
Since March, we have constructed- with our own hands- two bunny barns, I've laid a scavenged flagstone walkway to service them, I've dug out grass and put in 2 raised garden beds, I've filled in mud patches with the dug-out sod, and I'm now building (by myself) a chicken coop! My husband was able to help with the initial bunny barns, but with this new job, he hasn't been available. So I've done the rest of this stuff, with a little help on the initial framing of the coop and chicken run.
We have 4 rabbits we are raising to breed for meat, so I will eventually be caring for up to 20 rabbits at a time. We also now have 6 chickens for eggs. And I have a vegetable garden to tend to, berry bushes, herbs, and 2 cats to keep the rodents away.
All of this is tightly organized on less than a 1/4 acre of city land, with our little ranch-style brick house in the middle.
Plus the two kids, now 2 and 4 years old.
Did I say farm? I meant circus.
Blown away...
Goodness! Taking over the full running of the household is exhausting. I thought it would take just a week to get used to it, and then add the paddling into the mix, but honestly, I'm just now starting to feel up to the early mornings. It's taken a month.
I get up with the kids at 6:30am or so, and it's non-stop. They go to bed around 9pm, and then I'm doing the dishes from that day that I hadn't gotten to yet, giving the baby chicks fresh water, and usually sneaking out to water plants I didn't get to during the day too. And those are my nightly chores. Then there are the less-frequent but constant ones: bills, cleaning the cat's litterbox, correspondences, getting ahead on cooking things, planning meals and shopping lists, getting my 'to do' lists up to date. I go to bed on average at 11pm. My son still wakes me 2-3 times per night.
Getting up at 5 or 5:30 hasn't appealed, but I am starting to think I could do it without totally wiping myself out now. And I can always supplement with napping when the kids nap when I'm exhausted.
So I've spent the past month learning to float and tread water in the hurricane, and now this month I plan on starting to *move*.
In the meantime, I've been able to sneak in some reading. Two book reviews are coming down the pipeline, both on paddling. They've been very educational books, and easy to read. Fun!
I get up with the kids at 6:30am or so, and it's non-stop. They go to bed around 9pm, and then I'm doing the dishes from that day that I hadn't gotten to yet, giving the baby chicks fresh water, and usually sneaking out to water plants I didn't get to during the day too. And those are my nightly chores. Then there are the less-frequent but constant ones: bills, cleaning the cat's litterbox, correspondences, getting ahead on cooking things, planning meals and shopping lists, getting my 'to do' lists up to date. I go to bed on average at 11pm. My son still wakes me 2-3 times per night.
Getting up at 5 or 5:30 hasn't appealed, but I am starting to think I could do it without totally wiping myself out now. And I can always supplement with napping when the kids nap when I'm exhausted.
So I've spent the past month learning to float and tread water in the hurricane, and now this month I plan on starting to *move*.
In the meantime, I've been able to sneak in some reading. Two book reviews are coming down the pipeline, both on paddling. They've been very educational books, and easy to read. Fun!
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