Birth & Mt Kilimanjaro: what they have in common

My son was born a year ago today! Yay us! I'd like to thank my little man for helping remind me about some of the most important lessons I've learned, re-learned, and still need to fully embody. Sound mysterious? Read on!

We went the total hippie way- water birth at home- and it was awesome. What great memories! Besides my husband, two midwives and a friend who was a new doula tended to us from set-up to clean-up, so all we had to do was focus on the labor and then the baby. I'll spare you the details, but it was amazingly natural. There is too much hype around birth, so many fears, and then it was just so simple. I'm still stunned by that.

We human creatures are so incredibly capable, if we can just let go of our neurotic minds long enough to permit ourselves to do things. And, of course, we have to overcome other people's fears/society's dogma as well. We can do so much more than we have convinced ourselves of! My son's home-birth helped prove that to me on a very real, physical level.

It ranks up there with another test of mind and body that I'd experienced in 2001:

My husband and I climbed Mt Kilimanjaro for our honeymoon. I had this crazy idea, and he was excited to do it (he's much more fit than I) so we planned it, and then realized I had never even climbed a Fourteener (14 thousand foot peak here in Colorado). So I scrambled up three of those the month before we left to climb the 19,500-plus foot volcano in Tanzania.

Things were going well, until the alpine desert. I got separated from my water (my husband had it and hikes really fast) so I got dehydrated, and was hot, so I took off my shell while trying to catch up. When I caught him, I was so intent on drinking water that I didn't put the shell back on immediately. A freezing wind hit me and I started to shake, never to warm back up.

That night, I still couldn't recover. I threw up everything I tried to eat and became weak and had a terrible headache. Probably partial altitude sickness. After a few uncomfortable hours, we all got up at midnight to hike the remaining portion by night so that we could watch the sunrise from the summit. I was unable to stand without support from my hiking poles. I expected I would not make it, but after traveling halfway around the globe, I wasn't going to give up without a fight.

I warned my husband of my condition, and he said he would go as far as I could, and help carry me down to camp if I had to stop. I told him the only way I would stop was if I passed out. He nodded thoughtfully. Someone gave me a piece of chewing gum, and I didn't have the strength to chew it. It just lay there in my mouth. I put one foot in front of the other in the darkness, with just the little spot directly in front of me lit by my headlamp to stare at. Hour after hour in the freezing dark, I methodically moved my poles forward, then one foot, then shifted my weight. Then I'd do it again.

I had to occupy my mind with something other than the acute awareness of my physical misery, but my thoughts were pretty well monopolized. So I started reciting anything and everything that would come to mind, and tried to fit things to a rhythm that would match my slow hiking movements. Strange things I'd memorized and recited in elementary school, from school plays, passages from books, poetry, all floated through my head, but the best one was "Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their nation!" that we chanted in theatre as an acting exercise. I must have recited that for hours.

My headlamp froze and died. My husband and I had to share one headlamp. The universe shrank to a tiny spot of light and life became surreal. My husband walked behind me, memorizing where to step based on what he glimpsed through the headlamp shining at my feet. Snot froze to my nose in an icicle (the infamous snotcicle!). I couldn't feel my hands, feet or thighs.

We stopped for hot tea, which mercifully stayed in me, and I began to have hope that I'd make it. I felt horrible, but I hadn't passed out yet! I went from having to take one deep breath for every step I took, to having to take two breaths for each step. But I also began to notice the stars, and the new moon was a brightly visible brown orb above us through the very thin atmosphere. We saw the most amazing shooting star that created a rainbow streak across the sky as it burned through the atmosphere.

The sky began to lighten, and we found ourselves on the saddle top, the lip of the caldera that makes up the peak of the volcano. We hugged and cried, and celebrated with a bit more tea and cookies. By this time, my head and kidneys were in pain, but I was again able to keep the food down. It was freakin' cold! My camera froze so I didn't get to take pictures. My water was frozen even though I had it against my body to keep it warm. We made it to the summit, celebrated, and had to head back down to camp immediately.

It was almost as excruciating to go down, except it was faster- we slid down talus most of the way. Do you want to know something else amazing? Not only did I make it to the top and back when I was sure my body wouldn't make it, but so did my mother-in-law, at age 55. And she had one less Fourteener under her belt than I did! My husband and his dad are a couple of mountain goats, so there was no doubt for them, but what my mother-in-law and I did defied expectations, and is a testament to the mix of stubborn resolve, stupidity, discipline, and romanticism we both clung to.

We made it. What else can we achieve? Why not make big plans and hold up a sign that says "Adventure X or bust!" We really are capable of much more than we permit. My goal is to learn how to permit myself to dream big, flail at times, and live big. That's what the UFC race is all about for me: continuing to challenge the perceptions of what us 'normal' people can really do if we put our minds to something.

stuff comes, stuff goes

I've decided to try to approach a more minimalist lifestyle at home in the hopes that I will be able to focus on my priorities better.  Less clutter in my life will equal more freedom right?

Besides hunting for the right kayaking gear, I've been busy getting rid of stuff and learning about lifestyles that might benefit me and my whole family. It's been fun to research, and I'm convinced it's all related to my crazy goal of the UFC race.

I started this process with culling the more obvious things from the house for a yard sale. It feels great to have gotten rid of a lot of stuff, and I HAVE noticed it's easier to tidy up the house now. I plan on doing one more yard sale this summer.

I think I can take it a step further though. I need to apply this approach to paperwork and my 'to do' list also. I need to get rid of the procrastination that lurks in the corners of my mind. That's a hard one, though, because it's more of an insidious habit. I've found a few websites that I'm exploring, which have been helpful so far.

zen habits
becomingminimalist
flylady

Does anyone have any suggestions for other sites to explore? I've been skimming books like Ladies who Launch and 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and if I have time, I'll write up some book reviews. Honestly, I've been reading some heavy-duty parenting books to survive the changes of kids growing up lately, too. I'll spare you those reviews (unless you REALLY want to know about them). :)

The scavenger hunt

I spent this month on a scavenger hunt, try to find all the things I need to get started.  The kayak turned out to be the easy part- there are tons of cheap boats out there, but no paddles! I splurged a bit on a good deal and got what feels like an incredibly lightweight paddle. Better than the particleboard laminate I was designing with the leftover wood from my husband's shop! (no, I'm not kidding- thought I'd save a buck, but then, I dunno, I got lazy and bought this one?)

Anyway, I didn't quite make my goal of staying under $400 for everything. I have spent $415 now (including boat), and still don't have a helmet or dry top. Dry tops are super-expensive! I'm going to just wait and ask for one for my birthday in November- have it be my one big gift everyone can pitch in on. They're around $300 new, give or take $100 depending on brand. Whew! That is something I will be able to use in the race, though, so it's worth it.

So here's a breakdown of what I've spent:

Kayak: Used Dagger Crossfire, $80
Paddle: Used Werner Sherpa, $100
PFD (lifevest): New/clearance women's style $60
Spray skirt: New/clearance, women's cut, $80
Longsleeve rashguard shirt: $55 
Neoprene 'shorts': $40
Drytop: still need it
Helmit: still need it

I figure I can rent the brain bucket and outer shell to use for the rolling clinic this June and any river runs I do this summer. I won't really need them as much for my flat water training. I can wear a water-resistant windbreaker and sun hat.

....Until I notice how cold I am. Hmmm. I do think I will invest in making a proper hypothermia emergency kit to carry with me, and I'll practice with it this summer.

April Exercise Log

Ooooo boy. I didn't keep my journal this past month. I don't think I like the old format anyway, so I'll try something new. Let me know which format you like better!

I don't think I can recall everything, and there were another 2 weeks of extreme fatigue from sleep deprivation/nourishment issues. My almost-toddler son, now 11 months, won't eat solids for me, and I don't do formula, so he's nursing still. He's thriving- 22 pounds and walking everywhere- but I am still trying to find the balance for what I need to sustain him AND myself while working out. And he stopped sleeping after 1am for 5 days. I'm so tired from the past couple of nights (week 2 of bad sleep) that I'm not safe to drive... again. *sigh*

So!

Tai Chi: 16 hours
Biking: 2 short rides, maybe 3 miles total; 1 long ride, 10 miles or so (pulling 60 lbs of trailer w/2 kids)
Swimming: quarter mile in 10 minutes one time
Push-ups: 60 (I'll be doing these regularly and more of them. good exercise)
Squats: 400 (I'm going to start modifying these to be more applicable to tai chi)
Sit-ups: 460 (insanely boring. Must find something better. I stopped bothering after a couple days)

As I type this, it's late May and I'm doing better on every level. April was so bad. I survived, though, recovered in early May, and have a good plan for this summer, so I'm not worried. My May exercise is better- I'll post it at the beginning of June.

We've had a really wet spring, so I expect to bike more starting in June, and if I get enough sleep I'd like to start paddling at 5am. We'll see.